Star Ocean Doom
by BelovedKiki
Summary: This is the story of how Dion and Ameena hated each other, Fayt was a power happy idiot, and Albel had no potential what so ever. I love Star Ocean. And I love humor. This is both wrapped into one easy to carry package. XP


**This was actually written awhile ago. I don't understand why it wasn't on my old account. =/ Oh well. Here it is now. I used to write parody stuff. I'm trying to do a Matrix one. XD Tell me if ya like it. =)**

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**Star Ocean  
(The un-told story)

Dion: Well I hate you!  
Ameena: Well you're ugly!  
Dion: Old hag!  
Ameena: Four eyes!  
Fayt and the others stared at the wall as the fighting between Dion and Ameena stopped. Then Dion appeared in the doorway.  
Dion: Well, she's dead.  
Fayt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Silence. Then Cliff jumped on Dion and stabbed him 27 times, mangled him, then hung him over the bleachers.  
Nel: D***it Cliff! Why do you have to kill everything?!  
Cliff: He was annoying!  
Fayt: That he was.  
Mirage: Pie makes you fat!  
Fayt: So, what about the war?  
Nel: What war?  
Silence.  
Cliff: We must kill things with your power of doom!  
Mirage: Fat people!  
Fayt: I am a god!  
Nel: There's a war? Oh my god! *Panics. Runs in triangles. Falls off the edge of the world. How she does this, we do not know.*  
Cliff: To the war!  
Fayt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Cliff: Fayt, nothing dramatic has happened yet.  
Fayt: Just getting the old lungs warmed up!  
The war! Yes, there is much blood and death! Fayt and Cliff got front row seats on the bleachers!  
Fayt: Yeah go Ariygligh!  
Cliff: Fayt, we're voting for Aquios remember?  
Fayt: Oh yeah!  
Nel: Stupid pigs! Go find Vox now!  
Cliff: Do we get to kill him?  
Nel: No.  
Cliff: I'm in! But I'm not happy about it.  
So anyway, Cliff and the clueless Fayt are on the battle ground! But stop when they see giant catapults and a lot of peasants.  
Fayt: Oh jeez! The British are coming! Believe it!  
Silence. Meanwhile, the peasants are given knives and loaded into the catapults. Levers pulled, they fly! Peasants fly through the air, yelling their battle cry, and their knives ready! They on their way down. They go, CER-SPLAT! Right next to Fayt and the others. Fayt starts walking toward the enemy. They fire more peasants, and continue to miss. Until finally their launching their own men! LOL! Laugh with me people, it's great fun!  
So anywho, Fayt and friends are at the enemy now where as there is only the general left.  
General: You haven't won yet!  
Puts himself in the catapult and he flies! The Auqios army watches him fall. Long silence.  
Auqios solider: VICTORY!  
Lots of cheering.  
Fayt: Hey look!  
Cliff: *Gasp!* A finger! *Looks at Fayts finger which is pointing to a lot of weapons.*  
Fayt: You know what this says to me?  
Dion: ………Death?  
Fayt: Money!  
Fayt runs over and picks up all the weapons and runs toward Arias. He runs into the shop.  
Fayt: I've come to- whoa!  
Fayt has tripped and was stabbed by most of the weapons. He stands up, and takes out all the weapons. Blood is everywhere, and much of it is coming from Fayt. *Where the rest is coming from, that's part of the mystery!*  
Fayt: Can I still sell these?  
Store lady: I…I…well…I…  
Fayt: Can you send the check to my bank account?  
Silence. Meanwhile…  
Fayt: I can't believe she fainted. It was only a little blood.  
Nel: Fayt, you flooded the entire city!  
Fayt: Ahahahaha…yes, yes. Good times, good times.  
A faint scream. Dion and Ameena are fighting again.  
Dion: D***it women, I'm dieing here!  
Ameena: I don't care, where's my money!  
Dion: Ugly pig!  
Ameena: You're a horrible engineer!  
Dion: *Gasps!* Take that back!  
Ameena: Never!  
Dion: Then die!  
*Lots of banging and crashing coming from Dions room.* Silence.  
Ameena appears in the doorway.  
Ameena: Well, he's dead.  
Ameena spontaneously combusts.  
Fayt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Nel: Who's that?  
Points to Fayt.  
Fayt: I am god!  
They are on the road. There is a tree, with a fish in it. Silence.  
Fish: I feel slimy, oh so slimy, I feel slimy and grimy and fat! And I…what?!  
Fayt: Tee hee, funny fishy!  
Cliff: Food!  
Mirage: Fat!  
Nel: Dumb fish.  
Pie eating contest.  
Random announcer lady: Okay all you retards! Our contestants are, Fayt, Cliff, Mirage, Nel, and Albel the Wicked!  
Fayt: You like pie?  
Albel: Brings me back to when you guys were trying to smuggle copper.  
Cliff: Pie does that to you?  
Nel: I feel a flash back coming on.  
*Flashback.*  
Tynaive and Farleen are on their pathetic ways to Auqios, when I, the mighty Albel, stop the entire cart with a tutu of destruction!  
Nel: That's not what happened!  
Cliff: You held up your hand to stop them.  
Fayt: But they ran over you.  
Mirage: And made you fat!  
Albel: I can dream! *Cries uncontrollably.*  
*Flashback over.*  
The contest has started! Their all eating their hearts out!  
Dion: I'm gonna win!  
Ameena: I'm fatter!  
Dion: No I'm fatter!  
Ameena: Fine.  
Dion: Ha, I won! *Explodes from being to fat.*  
Ameena: Fatty. *Explodes cause I want her to.*  
All the pies are gone. They are announcing the winner.  
Announcer lady: And the winner is…Fish!  
Fish: I feel slimy!  
Fayt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Nel: Dumb fish.  
Cliff: My shiny trophy!  
Albel: I say we temporarily team up and kill Fish.  
Everyone: Okay!  
Fish: S***!  
And so their off to try and kill Fish. But they never succeed. Oh well! Watch the credits or I shall kill your children!  
Fayt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A, "Because I'm weird", film.  
This was all done by "Lauren the Mighty", And "Laura the Brave"!  
Have a horrible day.

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**Review...Or I _will _find you. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not the day after. Most likely later on that same day. I will find you. O.o....**


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